George Osborne was elected the Conservative MP for Tatton when Martin Bell stood down in 2001 and has become one of the high priests of Opus Dave. Considered something of a child prodigy, he was just thirteen years of age on election and hopes his voice will break soon.

A charity that delivers advice to citizens, often in bureaux, was recently telephoned by George’s office to ask whether he and David Cameron could visit one of its projects to talk about why people get into debt. This was because the new, modern Conservative party wanted to be seen no longer as the party of high interest and mortgage rates, but as the party of the downtrodden and out of pocket.

Eager to engage with the new, forward thinking and social-justice-luvvin’ Conservative Party, the charity identified at very short notice a project in Lewisham, where Dave and George could talk to people about how a Tory government could give them a leg up and were delighted when a time was arranged for the heirs to Blair and Brown to come round for a chat.
Alas, the next day Cameron’s office subsequently came back to the charity
with word that he and George would not after all be able to come along to
meet the great unwashed because “Lewisham is too far away”.

This is quite understandable given that they would have to travel from Westminster, a journey according to www.tfl.gov.uk that would take 24 minutes by public transport, including changing trains and mingling with smelly commuters, few of whom are freemasons or went to Eton. You do however have to admire their commitment to keeping politics within the Westminster village and away from normal people.

Isn’t it time to get Dave and George a company car? Or at least to have a whip round for a minicab? Can’t Stanley Kalms just lend them a helicopter to Lewisham?

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