Productivity in monkeyland shrank to an all time low this week. No-one was sure of the cause until it was realised that the staple food - Fox’s Chocolate Viennese Biscuits - had been tampered with.
One eye witness told Recess Monkey,
The tampering was subtle but somehow the biscuits were… neater - and harder too.
Sources close to Fox’s biscuits in Batley, West Yorkshire told Recess Monkey that new plant had been installed and no-one was sure why the biscuits are coming out different. The manufacturer is rumoured to have its finest scientific minds on the case.
However, one high-ranking official at Fox’s - known on these pages only as “Deep Chocolate” - told your correspondent that “old style” Chocolate Viennese biscuits are still made for the Marks & Spencer own brand label - and that parliamentary staff who ring 0800 591 886 and complain are likely to have their silence bought with other Fox’s merchandise. You may wish to scrutinise this list before calling them.
Recess Monkey
*serious investigative journalist*
recessmonkey@gmail.com
editor[at]recessmonkey.com
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I think it would be fair to say that Mr Clarke is a regular...
Damn you Monkey! I’m hungry now.
Us poor staffers out in the sticks don’t have the marvellous vending facilities that the hamsters, sorry, Westminster staffers, have, you know. I’ll just have to nip off to the supermarket…
Womble said this on February 24th, 2006 at 10:09 pm
I can testify as to the superiority of Marks and Spencers own brand viennese. Particularly good dipped in hot chocolate, or mocha - the straight mans hot chocolate
Becca said this on February 28th, 2006 at 5:53 am
I prefer hot chocolate over mocha…
…I’m saying no more
Recess Monkey
Recess Monkey said this on February 28th, 2006 at 9:23 am