A senior Tory source, known only as “Deep Throat”, tells Recess Monkey that David Cameron will unveil the top 30 candidates on the much renamed Tory “A List” on Monday. The A list (also known as the “gold” list and the “priority” list) comprises the crack stormtroopers of Opus Dave, who will all be given the safe seats of elderly “bed-blocker” MPs of the sort that would be likely to cause David Cameron trouble if he formed a government after the next election. So that’s Bob Spink and Ann Winterton out for a start.
Recess Monkey has acquired a copy of the Top 10, reproduced here exclusively for Recess Monkey Readers.
1. Fern Britten
2. Rehman Chishti
3. Noel Edmonds
4. Kirstie Allsopp
5. Adam Rickitt
6. Iain Dale
7. Zac Goldsmith
8. Pete Doherty
9. Jade Goody
10. Jamie Oliver
I’ll leave it to readers to guess the rest of the Top 30… the nation is safe in their hands.
recessmonkey@gmail.com
editor[at]recessmonkey.com
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Don’t worry RM I’ll take care of Oliver…
*evil laugh* *evil laugh* *evil laugh*
Dr. Freling said this on April 21st, 2006 at 9:38 am
Well congratulations on beating CCHQ connected top bloggers like Iain Dale and Tim Montgomerie to this story about the A-list being announced on Monday. You and your “senior Tory sources”.
Guido will stick his neck out here and say your story is bollocks.
Let us see who is right on Monday.
Guido Monkey said this on April 21st, 2006 at 11:11 am
WOAH that joke went WAY over Guido’s heads!
Dr. Freling said this on April 21st, 2006 at 1:11 pm
Dr. F.
Check with the management.
WHOOSH yerself
Guido Monkey said this on April 21st, 2006 at 2:46 pm
Ok Guido calm down!
Dr. Freling said this on April 21st, 2006 at 4:10 pm
Fuck off!
Guido Monkey said this on April 21st, 2006 at 7:27 pm
I always wanted to appear on the same list as Fern Britten. Surprising there’s room, really.
Iain Dale said this on April 21st, 2006 at 9:15 pm
I put Rehman Chishti as the top of the polls
Martinez said this on April 23rd, 2006 at 4:35 pm