Recess Monkey’s heart goes out to Sarah Teather, MP for Brent East, who has been seen crying quite a lot recently. According to the Sunday Times, she cried as she stabbed Charles Kennedy in the back. She has also been seen crying, “It wasn’t me!” to whomsoever will listen in reference to her betrayal of the man who worked so tirelessly to get her elected in the first place.
However, most heart-wrenching of all was the plaintive wail of, “I haven’t had a shag in 18 months”, issued from her quivering lips tearfully in a bar not long ago.
And so Recess Monkey hereby launches the “Stud for Sarah” appeal. If you’re willing to take one for the team and end Sarah’s drought in order to keep one of our fine legislators from going postal then please let us know now. Alternatively, just send cash as I might be able to think of a certain Elvis impersonator who is always amenable after a dinner or two.
And remember, time is of the essence if she is to avoid becoming Ann Widecombe.
editor[at]recessmonkey.com
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Alex, that’s mean, and nasty. I completely deny laughing out loud when this showed up in my feed, Ms Teather is an asset to the party i rejoined a few months back.
Definately, I didn’t laugh. And I’m not going to mail a few people this link either…
MatGB said this on September 5th, 2006 at 3:09 am
I wouldn’t touch it with yours comrade.
Proletarian Vanguard said this on September 5th, 2006 at 8:32 am
allegedly this is a cheeky snap of what fell ot of sarah’s bag last week…
http://z.about.com/d/exoticpets/1/0/d/B/brandon106_0683.JPG
apparently
Ayotollah of Rock n Rollah said this on September 5th, 2006 at 10:01 am
I thought Gutbuster had tried to get in the hamsters pants once before… or was that just bravado???
Eskimo Nell said this on September 5th, 2006 at 10:07 am
I have no evidence as to who shagged Ms Teather 18 months ago. Well… when I say no evidence, I’m prepared to sign an affidavit stating it was not me.
Recess Monkey said this on September 5th, 2006 at 10:22 am
Hey comrades. can we please refrain from mentioning names of staff with reference to potentially “getting it on” with Ms Teather. We don’t want to scupper their chances.
Recess Monkey said this on September 5th, 2006 at 11:00 am
I’m not volunteering!!
Howler monkey said this on September 5th, 2006 at 11:09 am
Maybe Simon Hughes in her attempt to find a wife, he can ask Sarah Teather. She sounds desperate enough.
Andrea said this on September 5th, 2006 at 11:56 am
I dont even think Simon Hughes is that desperate!
Richard said this on September 5th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
“Simon Hughes in her attempt to find a wife”
ops, I meant HIS, not her. I dind’t want to imply any sex change op!
“I dont even think Simon Hughes is that desperate! ”
Maybe…if so, David Blunkett can be her solution
Andrea said this on September 5th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
I asked a Jamaican frriend and he said it was a “2 bags and a machete job” I said that I understood where to use the 2 bags but not the machete and he replied “that was to cut off your other arm and legs so that you never did that again!”
FibDem1 said this on September 5th, 2006 at 12:41 pm
I wonder if her lack of action is anything to do witht he fact that she seems to be constantly advertising for new interns on w4mp?
darlodunn said this on September 5th, 2006 at 1:07 pm
Malicious monkey, you really are a nasty piece of work
Nasty sexist said this on September 5th, 2006 at 2:08 pm
Just remember, a fuck’s a fuck, a joke’s a joke but no fuck is no joke!
Gareth said this on September 5th, 2006 at 3:19 pm
She’s a loser, why would anyone want to do it with such an uptight jumped up little hamster? I remember once overhearing her crying about the fact that she looked like shrek…
ha
Dirty said this on September 5th, 2006 at 3:49 pm
Hey - play nice. Observe some limits - we’re trying to help the girl here, not make her cry
Recess Monkey said this on September 5th, 2006 at 3:56 pm
Ill volunteer myself, no problem. Ill want expenses taken care of though.
Jonny said this on September 5th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
Do you have to wrap her in cellotape before so she doesnt split in half?
Pete Tilbury said this on September 5th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sarah_Teather
Please somebody up date her Wikipedia entry!
Pete Tilbury said this on September 5th, 2006 at 9:38 pm
Tight as a teather?
Beav said this on September 5th, 2006 at 11:24 pm
Let’s see some photos of you losers then. Thought not.
ColinW said this on September 6th, 2006 at 1:43 pm
Give her my e-mail address, I’ll sort her out!
AndyH said this on September 7th, 2006 at 3:31 pm
she has nice eyes, and eyes are my favouritethings as regards woman. she can have me if she wants to.
mark roberts said this on September 7th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
Doesn’t your virginity grow back after a year?
Mr JG said this on September 8th, 2006 at 1:31 pm
My mate Porky says he’ll give it a go, but only if he gets expenses and danger money. And we all know why he’s called Porky…
Chuck Unsworth said this on September 22nd, 2006 at 1:13 pm
I hope she got it this week in Brighton
Lloyd George said this on September 22nd, 2006 at 2:30 pm
Perhaps she’d stand a better chance if she moved to Knesset. Homeland?
maryb said this on April 1st, 2008 at 10:07 am
Well I’ll give it a bash. I want you lot to chip in for my dinner and wine expenses though.
David Blunkett said this on April 1st, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Does she enjoy it in the traditional lib dem fashion…?
meursault said this on April 1st, 2008 at 4:48 pm
How does she expect to get a shag in a party full of bum boys? Sorry Sarah, it’s either Back Up or Pack Up.
ron vibentrop said this on April 3rd, 2008 at 5:08 pm