RecessMonkey

The wait is nearly over



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I need that information NOW godammit!

Hammersmith & Fulham MP Greg Hands’ desperate wait for information is nearly over. With the Chancellor of the Exchequer due to respond on 9th July, soon he will know precisely “what estimate the Office of National Statistics has made of the number of deaths from accidents in graveyards or cemeteries in each of the last three years”.

Regular readers will be aware that this important issue has been dragging on for some time now and Greg will no doubt be ready to use this information as the coup de grace to bring down the Prime Minister.

I called a source at the Treasury to ask how many dead people there are in British graveyards. Her response was, “All of them, I should hope”.


editor[at]recessmonkey.com



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8 Responses to “The wait is nearly over”

  1. I would have thought the Treasury was just too busy at the moment, looking for places to bury fresh bodies :o)

    Lobster Blogster said this on September 7th, 2006 at 3:31 pm

  2. There’s always a Goth in a graveyard, so this may be the exception to the rule.

    Howler m onkey said this on September 7th, 2006 at 4:01 pm

  3. You can’t STILL be banging on about this…

    Don’t you think that there are some slightly more interesting stories to write about at the moment? Smacks of burying your head in the sand a little bit.

    In Like Flynn said this on September 7th, 2006 at 5:18 pm

  4. agreed. monkey really has lost it. this place is living off its old undeserved reputation. the site may as well be dead.

    a said this on September 7th, 2006 at 7:39 pm

  5. Is the Keeping the faith website for real? That’s a genuine enquiry. Anyone know?

    steve said this on September 8th, 2006 at 10:11 am

  6. Yes. This place is a complete disgrace, its really gone downhill, and to be honest i don’t know why anybody replies to your silly little stories. Less of these frivailities. I demand some nudity.

    2Tall said this on September 8th, 2006 at 11:01 am

  7. How on earth did this website find its way into my bookmarks? All ads and odd attacks on MPs posing regular questions about their constituiencies. Goodbye

    Boss said this on September 8th, 2006 at 11:01 am

  8. This isn’t really an unusual issue to raise, as the safety of cemeteries is an issue…

    Please see the Westminster Hall debate on Gravestones, Wednesday, 29 June 2005.

    ‘There have been 21 serious injuries, including three deaths, during the past six years’

    Krindlekrax said this on September 9th, 2006 at 11:51 am

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