The Lord Lucan has suggested that Recess Monkey failed to best Gutbuster in the sing-off. To be frank, I got there far to late even to hear “two dinners” sing - though I understand it was a dire rendition of Blue Christmas. Recess did manage to get on the mic at one point singing Careless Whisper with a complete stranger - though that too was pretty grim. I think the winner of the event would have to be an MP’s researcher who happens to look quite a lot like Paul Burrell, who sang “Don’t let me be misunderstood”, which seemed to impress suitably the young lady he brought to the event - though I’m not sure in which universe it’s appropriate to take a girl to the S&S karaoke night for a first date.

Of course, yesterday was the day the PM had a “chat” with the cops over some minor alleged financial irregularities - (that’s a point, whenever people talk about criminal investigations, they use the word “alleged” - yet the cash for honours investigation doesn’t seem to merit that benefit of the doubt - even Ian Huntley was credited with being an “alleged” child murderer before he was convicted) - anyway - the instigator of this police investigation, SNP MP Angus McNeill, was in an understandably gleeful mood. In fact, both he and his entire entourage were singing out their little hearts long after the karaoke lady had started packing up her equipment.

Things did get a little tense when one SNP apparatchik threatened to “have” me “up against the wall” (not in a nice way) over my potatogate story, about which, after six months, they should have calmed down. To be fair, this SNP fixer did become more friendly over the course of the conversation and your correspondent did, fortunately, avoid a Glasgow Kiss. Nevertheless, I have been meaning to write a number of stories on the SNP and this flunky certainly has reminded me to do so. The SNP’s pre-war links with Hitler might be a good place to start - apparently, they were up for a running a Vichy-style regime for Adolf, but he turned them down.

In short, the karaoke event was enormously successful, most people rolled on to the St Stephens Tavern, where one well known S&S regular had an even more successful event. Please - a note to anyone else intending to have the sex in the St Stephen’s Tavern disabled toilet - I know the various handholds can be useful in such circumstances - but the lock on the door is there for a reason. Use it.

editor[at]recessmonkey.com