The Tories have launched this internet push-poll in Northern Ireland.

In case you’re not aware, a push poll is like an opinion poll but instead of using scientific methods to identify people’s opinions, you use unethical methods masquerading as unbiased scientific methods to “push” people towards your way of thinking.

For example…
q1. “Do you think that people in NI should have the right to take part in national politics?” - In essence, they are starting with a question to which no-one sensible can answer “no”. Tacitly, they are saying - “look, although you have never thought of voting Tory, you already agree with me and this is only the first question”. It’s also a standard Neuro-linguistic programming trick to get someone to be positive and engage with you. If they start off answering “No” to you, it is easier for them to say no to you in later questions. Forcing them to give you a “Yes” in the first question makes them begin to build a rapport with you.

q2. “Do you think that Northern Ireland’s local parties can have any real influence over the way we are governed?” - Once again, the role of this question is not to ellicit an opinion but to implant the seed of doubt in the mind of the respondent. The purpose of this question is to make the respondent think, “I am dissatisfied that our regional parties have little influence over the nation as a whole, and so are unable to influence how I am governed” - not necessarily a Northern Ireland citizen’s first thought when talking about politics. This question has a further, subtle role, which is to target Unionists in Northern Ireland because Republicans don’t want to be ruled from Westminster in any case.

q3. “The Conservatives have been in the forefront of the campaign to preserve grammar schools at the same time as improving the standards of our secondary schools. Which of the following alternative approaches do you think is the best in terms of Northern Ireland’s education system?” - followed by the alternatives, grouped by the parties that support them. The first deviousness is to preface the question with a reasonable and Tory supporting statement, which renders the respondent more likely to consider the Conservative position rather than discounting it out of hand. Furthermore, the Tory alternative is the only option that is not grouped with the positions of other parties. Therefore, if you pick the Tory option, it reinforces your support for that party, yet if you pick another option, you are forced to “dissapate” your support between a choice of parties.

q4. “Conservatives are opposed to the new system of domestic rates and secured concessions from Labour to help less well off pensioners and introduce a ‘cap’ on capital values. The cap means that people who live in very valuable houses (above the level of the cap) won’t be asked to pay rates disproportinately greater than people who live in less valuable houses. What level should the cap on property values be put at?” - Again, the Tories are prefacing the question with a pro-Tory message, this time more strongly pitched to make the respondent feel well-disposed to the party rather than to influence the answe given. The options provided are £300k, £400k, and £500k for the property tax cap. The trick here is that they are presenting three very high house level prices - particularly in Northern Ireland - as being a range, when in fact, they are all high levels and all at or below the Labour option and the Tories can use any results as being in their faviour. There are no options above the Labour figure, (for which the Tories take credit in the question preface anyway) and there is no option to say there should be no cap.

Q5. “David Cameron has put environmental considerations at the forefront of Conservative policy making. Do you support increased emphasis on the environment?” - or “If you care about the planet you must be a Tory” (without once referring to a Tory environmental policy)

Q6. “What is the most important area of government policy for you? Please select the top issue for you i.e. you can only select one”. Looks like an honest question to me - yet putting it in a questionnaire riddled with NLP techniques could be an attempt to allay any suspicions that the respondent might have at this stage that their mind is being fucked with - in effect shoring up the confidence in order to deliver the confidence trick.

Q7. “Conservatives opposed the way Labour foisted plans for water charges on Northern Ireland. We were able to achieve some concessions in the House of Lords and ensured that the water industry is properly regulated from the start of water charging this April. What do you consider to be a reasonable level of charges for a household to pay each year?” - Again, the question is prefaced with a statement a) making you read the Tory position in order to get to the question, and b) Reinforcing the subliminal message that the Tories are effective and deliver in opposition but the Unionist parties are not.

Q9. “David Lidington MP, Conservative Shadow Secretary of State for Northern Ireland, led opposition to Labour’s plans to legislate an amnesty for On the Runs (OTRs). Do you think Conservatives should continue to oppose any proposals for an amnesty?” - by this time, republicans will have stopped engaging with this questionnaire so the Tories know the audience is largely Unionist. The question is not there to ellicit your opinion but to convince you that you share the Tories’ opinion. Again, the prefacing of the question with a partisan statement achieves this.

Q10. “If there were a General Election tomorrow which Party would you like to win it?” - a very carefully worded question that specifically avoids asking who the respondent will vote for. A Unionist in NI is unlikely to respond “UUP” or “DUP” because those parties cannot win in Westminster. The money shot for this question is in the next question.

Q11. “The last Assembly elections were in November 2003. Who did you vote for?” - At this point, the respondent is confronted with their own inconsistency. They have been led many times to agree with the Tories and are now being forced to say they don’t vote Tory despite their general support. Yet by not asking the question of the last Generalo Election they are a) not rubbing the respondents’ noses in their inconsistency (thereby alienating them) and also forcing them to avoid considering why they did NOT vote Tory at the General Election.

There is a very thin line between political campaigning and abusing the public and this degree of usage of Neuro-Linguistic Programming I believe steps over that line. It is no surprise to me today to read in The Times that Cardinal Finklestein, Eminence Grise of Opus Dave is a fan of Derren Brown, perhaps Britain’s foremost practitioner of NLP.

editor[at]recessmonkey.com