Bloggers generally at some stage get obsessed with their statistics. There are the big boys of political blogging - Guido Fawkes, Iain Dale and Conservativehome who all get tens of thousands of hits each day and there are those in “the long tail” at the other end of the scale who get less than 100 hits a day. Recess Monkey is somewhere between these figures getting 2,000 on a bad day and 10,000 on a good day (more if maggie dies *ahem).
However, like any male-dominated arena, anything measurable soon becomes the analagous to penis size. Poor Guido couldn’t help but mention his traffic while being mauled by Paxman and Michael White. And now I have found this loser. Councillor Antony Little. I have no idea who he is - some tory councillor somewhere - who has stated that he refuses to read or link to Recess Monkey on account of a certain little error to do with Margaret Thatcher that I’m sure everyone has forgotten by now. If I may quote, “You’ll notice I won’t even link to him … if your hits fall, credibility sinks and you decend (sic) into irrelevance”.
This is a pure example of the doctrine of blogging penis sizes - the fallacy (pun intended) that traffic relates to credibility or quality. No - it just relates to popularity. If that were true then Councillor Little’s 49 hits per day would equate to a very small penis indeed - 500-1000 times smaller than Recess Monkey’s if I bought into that bollocks.
I love my readers. I’d like to have a red velvet rope at the door to this site and a bouncer preventing entry to cretinous, penis obsessed Tory Councillors, Praguetory and the Maggie Thatcher Fan Club (who still haven’t accepted that she raised a convicted terrorist). Mark Clarke is welcome to carry on reading because he has provided so much good material in the past.
So Councillor Little, I’m sorry that you will never read this, but for your own sake, I suggest you learn to love your small penis, for it is the only penis you have got.
The rest of you readers are reminded to come to the Recess Monkey Karaoke this Thursday at Puzzle, Horseferry Road. Please leave your penis envy at the door.
editor[at]recessmonkey.com
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You’d like a red velvet rope would you? V phallic, Recess. Also, your maths is way out. Are you looking for a job in the Treasury? This barb was brought to you from PT (hung like a donkey behind the old iron curtain).
Praguetory said this on March 30th, 2007 at 5:41 am
he looks like the classic ugly tory boy.
Hotblastofmyfirstcurry said this on March 30th, 2007 at 8:24 am
You’re absolutely right PT. In my devency I can only refer to the timestamp. If you continue with these worthwhile contributions, I shall have to revoke the unenforced ban on letting you read this website.
Incidentally, if you think a red velvet rope is phallic, you should see a doctor.
Recess Monkey said this on March 30th, 2007 at 12:32 pm
And yet he IS still linking to you; direct to this page. Or as a girl, have I been completely confused by such technical concerns?
monkeycat said this on March 30th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
Sounds like you’re the one obsessing about penises
S Penketh (Also from manchester) said this on March 30th, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Thanks for the medical advice. Re the ban, I know that it’s just for headlines - I don’t take anything Labour do seriously. By the way, by “devency” do you mean in your defence or in your deviance? Freudian would have a field day with you, RM.
Praguetory said this on March 30th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
HOLY MOLY - IS THAT THE REAL MONKEYCAT? where have you been? and are you coming to the Karaoke on Thursday?
Recess Monkey said this on March 30th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Yes, ’tis the real me. I havent been allowed out since I peed on the carpet, but i snuck out this morning when they put the recycling out. Where’s the dead Thatcher stuff? I missed all that.
monkeycat said this on March 30th, 2007 at 4:07 pm
I reckon Antony Little is goind places - not a man with a mind for petty little vendettas clearly. I must say he’s got a face I’d love to push a custard pie into.
ploop said this on March 30th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
I’ve just tried to leave a comment on his blog, saying how petty he is and how NOT linking to your blog (which actually he does!) won’t actually kill off your blogging. He has ‘Comment Moderation’ turned on and he has to approve comments - £5 says he will delete mine.
Who the hell is he anyway? Looks like a saddo to me
Paul said this on March 31st, 2007 at 3:10 pm
I just can’t believe that the fucker is married.
Simeon McCack said this on April 3rd, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Ahhh poor Recess; he’s suffering from a form of penis envy.It’s the kind that chaps who haven’t managed to get elected to public office, like Alex Hilton, have about the chaps who have, like Cllr Little. Never mind though he’ll be in good company after May 3rd since just about every CLP meeting will be stuffed full of ex Labour Councillors recently turfed out by the likes of Anthony Little.
matt said this on April 5th, 2007 at 12:42 am
Mark Thatcher is not a terrorist, he financed freedom fighters. I hope Norman Tebbit reallys does pay you an unpleasant visit.
C4' said this on April 11th, 2007 at 10:02 am