Serial shagger Nick Clegg is believe to have lied to Piers Morgan in his now-notorious interview when well over 30 people claimed to have had sex with the LibDems’ libidinous leader.
An exclusive poll of Recess Monkey readers discovered that - in fact - 73 people claim to have had intercourse with Clegg. A further 81 readers claimed to have done “more adventurous than the vanilla” with Nick, making a whopping total of 154 notches on the liberal lothario’s bed-post.
Between the frantic notching and other bedroom activity, Recess Monkey would be surprised if Nick’s bed wasn’t operating well beyond it’s design threshold.
28 Recess Monkey readers indicated they had partaken of oral pleasure (giving or receiving not specified) with Mr Clegg and a further 31 insisted their involvement with him was limited to “heavy petting and frottage“. In political circles, such activities are widely held not to count and so are not included in the overall statistics. 346 Recess Monkey readers responded to the survey, which was conducted under scientific conditions, of whom 133 people had yet to be recipients of Clegg’s famous hospitality.
Officials at Cowley Street were believed to be developing a range of graphs at the time of going to press.
editor[at]recessmonkey.com
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This just in:
An equally scientific survey on my blog reveals that about 60 million people claim to have been well and truly f***ed by the whole Labour Party.
Gary Monro said this on June 3rd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
This is news to me. So why did’nt I get the good looking one’s????
Horney Labourite said this on June 3rd, 2008 at 3:53 pm
There aren’t any good looking ones, that’s why… The totty’s in the Conservative Party.
Gary Monro said this on June 3rd, 2008 at 4:20 pm
That’s the difference between Cleggy and Paddy.
Paddy’s SAS training meant he could get in and out without being noticed
DP said this on June 3rd, 2008 at 4:51 pm
Surely you have to then divide the world’s population by 346 and multiply by 73 to get a total figure of a billion or so.
Anon said this on June 4th, 2008 at 10:18 am