John Bercow is today suffering a mauling on Conservativehome after calling for an extension of sex education to combat the levels of pregnancy and infectious disease amongst British teenagers.
This rather puts me in mind of a story I heard recently about the MP Nadine Dorries, who accidentally left behind in her room her Ladyshave after a Tory MPs’ away-day at the end of June at Latimer Place.
Following the away-day, a member of hotel staff cleaning her room found the Ladyshave, and the hotel passed it on to officials from CCHQ to be returned to Nadine. According to insiders, both the hotel staff and the CCHQ officials mistook the item for an implement of personal massage. The Ladyshave was returned to Nadine in a plastic bag in the Tory whips’ office in the House of Commons.
Naturally the story has gone around Tory circles and Nadine is reported to have told colleagues: “I think I know the difference between a dildo and a Ladyshave”.
It is clear from this that any extension of sex education should start at CCHQ, where they obviously are incapable of distinguishing sex aids from innocent household appliances.
Ms Dorries was unable to provide an image of her Ladyshave as this article was published, however, Philips helpfully display their entire selection online.
editor[at]recessmonkey.com
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The Lady’s Not For Moaning!
chunkymonkey said this on August 26th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
A drink for the first member of. House of Commons’ catering staff to ask: “Would you care for dill sauce with that, madam?”.
NudeEel said this on August 27th, 2008 at 8:08 am
I think it’s only sensible that if Nadine had to spend a night away from home with only leery male colleagues on her hotel corridor for company, she should take with her a Ladyshave to cope with the boredom. You can have hours of fun shaving those hard-to-reach nooks and crannies. Lesser women would have instead fallen prey to a male colleague, and ended up with an unwanted pregnancy, which is the last dilemma Nadine wants to find herself in.
Cubist said this on August 27th, 2008 at 11:51 am
This explains everything. I left my dildo (a pink RamRod 3000) behind at Latimer Place and to my confusion the whips gave me a Ladyshave when I got back to the Commons. Poor Nadine has probably just been too embarassed to point out the mix-up.
G.Osborne said this on August 27th, 2008 at 11:56 am
Doesn’t say much for Tim!
chunkymonkey said this on August 27th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
If anyone at CCHQ still needs reminding of the difference between a ladyshave and a dildo, this might help:
http://www.dorries.org.uk/admin/blogdocs/johnmajordinnerphoto.jpg
NudeEel said this on August 27th, 2008 at 12:01 pm
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Bookmarks about Monkey said this on October 10th, 2008 at 10:30 pm