Well-oiled Tory candidate Mark Clarke has pledged to stalk prostitutes with the formation of a “Hooker Hotline”. Mark has undertaken to attend the scene, with his girlfriend, every time a working prostitute is reported to him on this email address: mark@markclarke.net.
Evidently, he and his girlfriend Sarah have already been “showered with abuse”, which is much better than what he could have been showered with; had he paid a small consideration.
It is unclear what Mark Clarke intends to do while following the prostitutes. There is some suggestion that he will be offering punters his free services in order to drive the working girls out of business.
Of course, if any Tooting voters are reading this, you might like to note that Mark Clarke supports raising the Inheritance Tax threshold to £2m, which will benefit an estimated 0.5% of Tooting residents when they are dead at the expense of the 99.5% of Tooting residents who will either have to pay higher taxes or have public services cut. Far be it from me to suggest that the police, health services or programmes to help vulnerable young women off drugs and out of prostitution might be among those services.
Actually, that’s not far from me at all - I have indeed suggested it.
Though far be it from me to suggest to loyal Recess Monkey readers that they should keep their eyes peeled for sightings of suspected prostitutes and email all information to mark@markclarke.net.
editor[at]recessmonkey.com
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I wonder if helping a young tory get selected in a neighbouring seat - in return for sex - would be classed as prostitution? Or does it have to be a cash thing?
Tooting for business said this on September 5th, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Unless it could be proved the seat was one on the prostitutes services for votes alone i couldnt see how it would be for financial reward, then he would have to admit he had no intention of doing work as a mp he just liked the money a m.o gets and that it was teh services that bought him the seat in the commons
jack said this on September 5th, 2008 at 10:47 pm
What sort of bloke takes his NEW girlfriend, of a whole three weeks (spooky that she shares the same name as his last one…) out on a late night rendezvous with the Toms of Bedford Hill? He does know how to give a girl a good time doesn’t he!?
Wouldn’t he be happier at his own gaff in Chelsea instead of claiming to be a “resident” at his mum’s house in Fontenoy Road - You got to pity her if he’s planning on dragging his “family” down to Bedford Hill given that she’s his only family in Tooting!
tooting resident said this on September 7th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
I thought he was batting for the other side?
Pooman said this on September 18th, 2008 at 9:08 am
you would not be mistaken for thinking that - he is partial to a bit of anal play!!
woodstock said this on September 24th, 2008 at 4:34 pm
[…] of Clarke’s friends are influential Tories, very few will want to be seen with him this week. Mark Clarke is mostly famous for his personal campaign to crack down on prostitution. editor[at]recessmonkey.com MessageSpace Advertising Tagged With: Cad, David Cameron, Mark […]
RecessMonkey » Blog Archive » A woman scorned said this on September 28th, 2008 at 12:25 am
[…] of Tory wannabe Mark Clarke’s blog. No longer will we be able to read of his exploits as he stalks the prostitutes of Wandsworth and he has deleted all his old blog posts so we can’t even meander through the reveries of […]
RecessMonkey » Blog Archive » When blogs die said this on December 31st, 2008 at 9:04 am
[…] of Tory wannabe Mark Clarke’s blog. No longer will we be able to read of his exploits as he stalks the prostitutes of Wandsworth and he has deleted all his old blog posts so we can’t even meander through the reveries of […]
When blogs die – Politics Unlimited | UK politics news said this on December 31st, 2008 at 3:31 pm