Westminster Staffers have received the following warning from the Parliamentary Works Directorate;

“There will be an annual test of one of the Palace’s steam boilers…”
“This involves discharging steam which will form a dark condensate cloud in Boiler House Court. This will quickly dissipate. The test will also produce some loud noise for about 5 minutes. All of this is quite normal during the testing process.”

So, next time you hear a loud noise and see a black cloud emanating from the Palace, don’t panic.

Recess Monkey

Some of you may remember Smack the Pingu and how it briefly slowed down the workings of the British Government, possibly being the true cause of Beverley Hughes’ resignation.

Could Fly Sui be the diversion that brings down a Cabinet Minister?

Fly Sui

Recess Monkey

Sometimes Palace Staffers look longingly at the Greater London Assembly, where staff have better job security - if their member loses their seat in an election, the staff are deemed to be still employed and are redeployed.

However, with the London Elections looming, GLA staff are in fear - not of unemployment - but of being forced into an intolerable post.

In short, there is an outside chance that the BNP could win one seat on the GLA. If this happens, otherwise unallocated staffers could be sent to work for that BNP GLA member. Contractually, they couldn’t get out of it. The choice would be unemployment or career suicide.

Recess Monkey

Today is the day the refreshment department increases the price of food in the Palace eateries. Of course, Staffers are captive consumers as everything nearby outside the precincts of the Palace is extortionately priced, so they can charge what they like within reason.

It’s hard to accept the price hikes when the cafeterias generally run on MP hours rather than staff hours - and there’s no recognition in this year’s pay settlement that the Palace is disproportionately raising our cost of living.

But don’t get depressed and turn to drink. The Double Whammy will come on 30th April when the “review” of alcohol prices is implemented.

Recess Monkey

The Interns’ Network event was so popular, there was a queue to get in and tranches of staffers were shipped out to the Red Lion to form a “splinter group”.

Recess Monkey couldn’t raise the energy to travel to the Red Lion so there are only pics from the Jubilee Room.

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pic2 has been cropped at the request of a staffer who looked more out of it than he was.
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pic4 has been removed to protect the reputation of a member of the 4th estate
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Enjoy.

Recess Monkey

Westminster Staffers know there is little chance for career progression while working for an MP - so inevitably, we we cast the occasional glance at the green fields of public affairs, where former Staffers earn £50,000 a year and have unlimited expense accounts.

If that sounds attractive to you, then perhaps you should join the PubAffairs networking group, which holds regular social events and advertises jobs.

pubaffairs.org

One staffer said, “I might go along for the free booze but I’m happy with my salary and conditions and general job satisfaction”.

Recess Monkey said, “Show me the money!”

Recess Monkey

Political Staffers in Westminster and Washington recently formed an email list so ideas and thought can be bounced across the Atlantic.

see the w4mp notice

“Due to a large amount of interest expressed by both US and UK staffers to the recent posting for a UK penpal, I have has created an email list of US and UK staffers who would like to correspond. The list provides a forum for staffers in both Congress and Parliament to ask questions of one another and share their everyday experiences in their jobs. If you are interested in joining this list or would like more information, please email Stephanie at Stephanie.Thornton@mail.house.gov”

Subjects so far discussed include:
Does Democracy inherently compromise other objectives in government?
Are Socialism and the free market mutually exclusive?
Should Washington Staffers form a Union?
Is Hershey’s better than Cadbury’s?

So far the debates have been dominated by Americans so please join and remind them why the Brain Drain went from Britan to the US and not the other way around.

Recess Monkey

Recess Monkey has heard about a Parliamentary Reception for the Biscuit, Cake, Chocolate and Confectionery Association on Monday 19 April. Mr Doug Henderson MP is hosting this event on the Terrace from 7pm.

In no way does this constitute an invitation but it appears there will be “goody bags” full of Biscuits, Cakes, Chocolate and Confectionery so you may wish to blag your way in.

Please remember the rules on gifts. If you leave the event with more than £274.99 worth of cake, you must register the gift with the Register of Members’ Staff Interests.

See you there!

Recess Monkey

Anyone who knows Cass in the Serjeant @ Arms Department should go to the Sports & Social Club at 5ish tonight and wish her a happy birthday.

Although she often sets Recess Monkey’s heart aflutter, he advises against outrageous flirting. Recess Monkey said, “Apparently her boyfriend is a stonemason so he has easy access to blunt, heavy objects”.

Recess Monkey

Don’t forget the Interns’ Network party tonight, 7pm in the Jubilee Room.

Evidently, the Interns’ Network holds a social each month in a local pub. The arrangements are quite complicated and they involve a stage, an auctioneer and a hammer. Manacles and loincloths are optional.

Recess Monkey said, “Always check the teeth. It’s a very good way of quickly assessing their general health”.

Titter ye not.

Recess Monkey