Some time ago, Recess Monkey reported on an interparty rounders match which took place early in the recess. http://bill.verity-networks.com/ext/recess/index.php/2004/08/05/libdems_win_official_opposition_status_t

However, LibDems are contesting the veracity of the report published on these pages. Recess Monkey today received the following note…

“The rounders report is wrong mate - sort it out fella”

“Well, it was the Labour guy who refused to walk when he was out and the Lib Dems were far better at the footy - indeed, Labour won only when we gave them our best two players”

My correspondent finished with…

“The Tories were pants though”

Recess Monkey is at a loss and cannot apologise enough for this innacuracy. I am solely dependent on the honesty of my informants and in this case, something seems to be amiss. Anyone who was at this event should post their recollections as a comment below so people can decide for themselves what was the truth.

In the meantime, Recess Monkey is going to have a shower. I feel violated now I know I have been used by a New Labour proto-spin doctor.

Recess Monkey

There are MPs who have their heads up their arses and there are MPs who do not - and this criterion is not coterminous with political affiliation. Tom Watson is one of those who doesn’t and in my opinion is a thoroughly good bloke. His boat parties on the Tattershall Castle back in the day were highly enjoyable and popular amongst staff, MPs and journalists.

Nevertheless, there is a new weblog that aims to make fun of this excellent MP, largely due to his anti-LibDem activities. The website http://comicaltommy.blogspot.com/ is totally unfair and blatantly partisan and makes for very good satire. I hope Tom won’t mind me posting this link here - it is after all much worse not to be talked about.

Recess Monkey

In January, the website www.epolitix.com launched a competition to find the best political anecdotes from MPs. Each winning entry won a bottle of champagne sponsored by www.charitylogistics.org - another website.

Back in April, Recess Monkey commented on the positively narcosis-enducing anecdote submitted by Sir George Young MP http://bill.verity-networks.com/ext/recess/index.php/2004/04/30/p127

Sadly, it seems that Sir George’s anecdote was so boring that no-one has since submitted any further anecdotes and the noble knight’s words are still there http://www.epolitix.com/NR/rdonlyres/05D3735A-1EB6-488D-8620-494FF292119A/0/WestminsterTale.html

It seems that www.charitylogistics.org has a load of champagne going spare. Any staffer that comes up with a novel way of extracting the booze from them should tell Recess Monkey immediately.

Sir George’s entry in the Register of Members’ Interests indicates he receives no income as an after dinner speaker. How strange!

Recess Monkey

Txt msg from married male MP to another MP’s male Researcher

23.07.2004 23:19
HOW ARE YOU?
XXX
CAN I PHONE?

Next txt msg from married male MP to another MP’s male Researcher

23.07.2004 23:25
Disregard last
message sent in
error sorry

Of course, this particular MP was no doubt attempting to txt msg his wife… hang on a moment, why would someone need to ask his own wife if it is OK to call?

Recess Monkey

The BBC is currently looking for nominations for the best political website. If anyone knows of any political sites they particularly like - ahem - then perhaps they might like to follow this link and make a nomination.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/3936573.stm

Recess Monkey

The media in the last couple of weeks has been pretty hard on David Blunkett over his relationship with a certain Ms Fortier, publisher of the Spectator. However, new questions about Blunkett could make the Fortier affair fade into the background.

Lobby correspondents are increasingly suspicious that the Home Secretary is not really blind. The principle evidence for this is that every time Blunkett has been linked with a woman, she has been a petite brunette. How can a truly blind man develop a taste such as this - unless he is identifying physical attributes in advance of falling in love? Surely a blind man learns about a woman’s physicality a little later in the game?

One journalist has had long-standing suspicions. He swears that on one occasion in the Millbank Media Centre, he was sitting quietly, when Blunkett, walked around his legs instead of bumping into them.

David, the people demand to know the truth!

Recess Monkey

Recess Monkey has recently encountered an interesting site. http://sedgefield.blogdrive.com

It is an entertaining window on life in Sedgefield with a healthy political commentary. When you read comments from pro-hunting socialists in Tony’s own constituency, you can begin to see why he hasn’t fulfilled his two manifesto commitments on the matter. He’s worried about his reselection!

Recess Monkey

A constituency staffer was down in London on Friday and visited the Hansard Society’s ‘House to Home’ exhibition in Westminster Hall.

At the entrance to the Palace, he told the Police where he wanted to go and there reply was “Are you sure? It’s not very good”.

There also seems to be a number of post-it notes in the exhibition promoting the Member for Hereford, including ‘Keetch for PM’. If anyone sees Paul Keetch around, have a word.

Recess Monkey

One person not enjoying the recess is Western Mail Political Editor, Kirsty Buchanan. Having broken her foot in mysterious circumstances, she is spending the summer with her foot up, watching Tricia and going slowly insane. MPs in Wales would do well to take this opportunity to send messages of goodwill, flowers, chocolates and sympathy.

Anne Alexander on the other hand has decided there is no good news left in Shropshire now that Paul Marsden has announced his retirement from Parliament; she is moving from Political Correspondent at the Shropshire Star and Express & Star to become the Political Editor of the Yorkshire Evening Post, the Lancashire Evening Post and the Sheffield Star. Anyone who works for a Yorks, Lancs or Sheffield MP should call her on x1307 and get their ingratiating in early.

Recess Monkey

It has been requested that Recess Monkey start holding caption competitions. This is a very low and cheap form of humour and therefore thoroughly in keeping with this site.

Please post your caption suggestions as comments or send further pics to me at hiltona@parliament.uk

Recess Monkey