A year ago, Staffers may remember Westminster Hall was inaccessible due to urgent safety works on the roof. A Parliamentary Choir rehearsal had resulted in “bits” falling from the ceiling and there was a fear the whole roof could collapse without warning.

During the period of closure, one of the lesser-experienced MPs tried to take a short-cut through Westminster Hall and was stopped by a security officer. The MP allegedly flew off the handle with a tirade of abusive language and hand gestures and even used that timeless phrase, “Do you know who I am?”

Despite the security officer’s prompt complaint to his line manager, it appears the MP’s written apology was delayed in the post as he has only just received it in the last couple of weeks.

Recess Monkey

Once in a while, if you’re out late, it is tempting to forego the vomit-strewn night buses and instead kip on a comfy chair in the office. After all, we do have a range of facilities available and the Lords Staff Restaurant will provide a fortifying breakfast on weekdays.

However, if you are sleeping in the office overnight, please do inform security as they need to know who is around if an evacuation becomes necessary.

Not long ago, a Security Officer was obliged to inform a Staffer of this protocol when he encountered her one Saturday morning in Portcullis House, wearing nothing but a towel and a smile. Sounds like an incentive to work on a Saturday to me.

Recess Monkey

http://www.w4mp.org/html/eni/040416_marathon.asp

Do you know any Staffers or MPs running the Marathon this year? If so, follow the link above to our distant relative - the Working4anMP website - and let them know.

Recess Monkey

As you may know, Recess Monkey is not the only online observer of parliamentary activity. The Boy ‘Fig http://ripefig.blogspot.com/ is one of the better ones and with his permission, I have reproduced his note on yesterday’s events in 1 Parliament Street.

“All the locks in my office building were re-programmed today. I have no doubt that it is highly necessary, but it would have been nice if they could have given us the new keys at the same time or at least warned us when the work had been carried out. I should mention that we are encouraged to always lock our doors if the office is left unattended for even the shortest period. You go to photocopy a letter, you lock the door first. You nip to the loo, you lock the door. At four o’clock today, various confused looking researchers and secretaries could be seen wandering aimlessly through the corridors looking for the lady on the front desk who was away doing her postal round. This takes her roughly half an hour. I’m now faced with the quandary of whether to lock my office or not. Quite remarkable.”The Boy ‘Fig

Recess Monkey

Recess Monkey is happy for you to continue puffing away but have you contemplated your future? Staffer Dave Tinline is running the marathon on Sunday to raise money for the British Lung Foundation.

http://www.justgiving.com/teamtinline

Please follow the link and donate a small sum. Consider it an insurance policy.

Recess Monkey

You are cordially invited to a UKDF Futures reception with
GENERAL SIR ROGER WHEELER GCB CBE
Thursday 22nd April, at 5.30pm (wine and refreshments)
in the MacMillan Room, Portcullis House
This event is open to all Researchers and Assistants.
Places are limited. Please RSVP to murraypj@parliament.uk
“UKDF (United Kingdom Defence Forum) Futures offers an unrivalled opportunity for a diverse group of young professionals who are politically active to gain access to top level opinion formers and decision makers working in defence today.
UKDF Futures hosts a programme of events for those with an interest in defence and foreign affairs, including MPs’ researchers, Whitehall civil servants, and prospective Members of Parliament. UKDF Futures is a non-partisan organisation where all shade of the political spectrum are represented and are welcome to attend our events. Guest speakers, such as General Sir Roger Wheeler GCB CBE, are invited to address our meetings which are held on a monthly basis.”

Do you know this man? This is Ian, Manager of the Sports and Social Club. If you know him, pop down some time this week and he might mention to you something about Saturday. But then again, he might not.

Recess Monkey

Here are a few pics of a surprise party thrown this evening in aid of the birthday of Staffer Tash, whom you may or may not know. Going on recent experience, various people in these pictures will over the next few days urge Recess Monkey to crop, edit, airbrush or even remove some of the pics so check them out asap before they get censored. High resolution pics - inc. those unpublishable on this site are of course available for a negotiable fee.

In all seriousness, Hratche (aka the Armenian Connection) deserves credit for organising the party and being a great friend. Tash deserves adoration for being a star. Pic1 is a nice shot of them together.

Recess Monkey

pic1
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pic4
pic5 has been removed to protect a young lady’s reputation
pic6
pic7
pic8 has been removed for ambiguous reasons
pic9
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pic12

This afternoon, Staffer Danny (pictured) joined Recess Monkey on the terrace to pay tribute to Concorde on its last trip through London. The veteran plane, a joint feat of British engineering and French profligacy, made its final, sad yet historic journey through London on the back of a barge, controlled by two asthmatic tug boats.

Recess Monkey said, “It’s not just her unique and perfect nose, it is her whole body. She is a thing of beauty - she has a graceful physique and even when she is not at her best, she is still without flaw - and I could stare at her for hours. She evokes a sense of power but remains lithe - even svelte - and she arouses in me….”

Maybe that’s enough of Recess Monkey’s bullshit. :crazy:

Recess Monkey

http://www.shaunwoodward.com

Shaun Woodward MP, widely considered to be a member of the New Labour Praetorian Guard, has launched his new website. As you would expect, it is glitzy, glossy and highly professionally maintained. In fact, the staffer responsible deserves a medal.

However, Woodward has broken with the New Labour “Control Freak” principle by including a blog on his site where people can post anything they want. This is known as his “Online Office” but it is clearly understood that a number of people who post comments will be from outside his constituency.

Ever supportive of direct democracy, Recess Monkey urges anyone with a serious and cogent query to post it on Mr Woodward’s site, particularly on the subject of Transgender Rights, the issue on which Mr Woodward has received the most recent press coverage. To be fair, Shaun has a principled and compassionate stand on transgender rights, which predates his own drastic conversion some years ago.

Recess Monkey